first draft

you have been called upon to serve

the answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind
– Robert Zimmerman (Bob Dylan)

Time has passed, right? Rob’s sad refrain comes vibrating through the speakers as i sip my free diner coffee. A week prior i was first wading through Edward Abbey’s polemic proposition to this soundtrack. Now i pour over newspapers from bygone days, when Moab was quaint and only dreaming of tourism to come, fully unaware of the uranium treasures hidden below.

Earlier in the witching hours, under the waning but nearly full moon, i had danced down Park Avenue in Arches National Park presenting my full moon to Queen Victoria Rock and the Courthouse Towers. During the hours of the sun this canyon is populated by the automobile tourist. This night i walked solitaire to an audience of insects and stars. A gentle breeze whispered by the rocky parapets. My current year tutelage made it easy for my ears to mistake its hums as passing vehicles.

shoutouts to my green handkerchief propping up my gopro
my allergies have been abusive lately
further shoutouts to the ‘stay on trail’ sign

Signs at the trailhead cry out – Warning: drink lots of water! Take care to not lose this primitive trail – pay attention to the rock cairns marking your way!
I bring with me only my camera, descending down a beautifully crafted stone staircase, scoffing as i repeat ‘primitive’ to myself, rarely noticing any rock cairns for the well trodden path before me is difficult to lose.


First draft, as in a working copy of a thing in progress.

I feel blessed in a way by the nature of the medium for my words. A typewriter leaves a volatile minefield of xxxx across errors. A novel so permanent, a monument so easily lost among the cries of endless tomes all eating physical space, so many overlooked. My digital text is malleable, edits pass through like ghosts. My website ephemeral, similarly easily eagerly forgotten but adrift in a sea of unknowable depth, surrounded by the many also shouting their truth into the void. A reflection of myself? Quiet, comfortable, simple, with minimal impact?

In today’s chorus i am one of many. There are so many grand figures of days yore, who stamped their identities into the fabric of civilization. People of immortal deeds, with stonewrought names from when our edifices were carved, our paths blazed. What of us who live in their shadows? Who paw at their heels, daring to dream?


A first draft upon a table. In the words of a confidant, Ed could be sensitive to criticisms of his work, could be truly hurt by them. Once more does the soul resonate. A handful of my first drafts live in the annals of this website machine. Thoughts and phrases that i have plundered, mixed, and remixed into proper things. I loathe to think of any of these embryos being read casually by others, of being delved through for undercooked morsels.

looseleaf in the background, behind reissue and reissue

Yet here i am, wielding a facsimile of a facsimile of an opus, pages 27 – 53. Ed you scamp, i’ve read more than once that you were prone to self contradiction. It would not surprise me if that were the case, my historical kin, as i dive into the batter finding treasures abound.


His acidity on display in this draft, “Are tourists people? The answer, clearly is no.” A sensible prune, along with a number of raw verbal interactions he presents. They come off bitter, too bitter; i much rather prefer the final copy where he holds more pity for the industrial tourist, a victim to greater systems of growth and wealth.

Still, through the sediment i find flecks of discarded gold. I appreciate his description of tourists as “half-human, half-crustacean,” as they mass migrate through national parks, “fleshy animals in their shells of steel and glass.” I’m also fond of his friend’s biting words, calling them “masses of asses in sunglasses,” but again the words presented are of a rather low pH for the regular to swallow. He goes on to proclaim that tourists are not travellers – for they strongly intend to return home, are not wanderers – for they are scheduled and rooted, and are not lovers of the out-of-doors – for their true love affair is with the automobile. I am sad to see all these thoughts removed; they speak heaps of truth to me, just like

Of course they don’t see anything because they haven’t the time to look; instead of looking they take photographs so that, presumably, when they get home they can look at their pictures and find out where they were and what they missed.

the more things change…


He mentions that the unpaved entrance to Arches only permits an average of ten automobile visitors (the term “tourist” was frowned upon in the Park Service with the euphemism “visitor” being preferred) per day during peak season, for only the hardy stock who were willing to pierce the sieve of cruel dirt road could approach. He theorizes that with a paved road the traffic would grow to one hundred automobile tourists per day, perhaps far more.

The Integrated Resource Management Applications Portal presents usage numbers for National Parks. For the two years that Ed was working at Arches, 1956 and 1957, the visitor counts were 28,500 and 25,400 respectively. The vehicle count numbers don’t go back beyond 1992, but over the years since then the average visitor per vehicle dwindled from around 3 to around 2. Using an uneducated estimate of 4 average visitors per vehicle in the 50s gets 7,125 and 6,350 vehicles in his years.

In 2022, Arches started to do a limited entry reservation program which requires a two dollar tithe (by credit card, of course) from every visitor from 7am to 4pm to help stem the vehicular tide. The year just before it was instated saw 685,011 vehicles on its asphalt carrying 1,806,865 visitors. Since then the numbers have hovered at around 560,000 vehicles with 1,450,000 visitors per year. Perhaps a few more than one hundred per day, indeed.

Ed saw his monument as a place of quiet exploration and feared of a future which would see it transformed into a “museum-like diorama.” Such a thing has come to pass, for i see my developed lands as nature themed amusement parks, to be respected from behind the stanchioned velvet ropes. It bothers me deeply whenever i see an egotistical visitor stomping and stamping off trail where they please. Were all of the 1.45 million to treat the land so callously, what would remain? With free rein of my most exotic lands the callous visitor tide would surely have smothered out all of their glory. I find my joys of quiet exploration these days in my National Forests, away from National Park completionists.


And the poor tourist, who doesn’t deserve this sympathy, who had left home seeking diversion and recreation, returns to his home…He has seen very little, done very little, enjoyed very little, felt very little; all that he has to show for his time, money and effort are rolls of undeveloped film, trinkets and souvenirs, and a great addition of mileage to the odometer of his car. Here at least he will feel that he has accomplished something definite. He is an eater of miles; and in eating those hundreds and thousands of miles he feels justified in removing from his check-list of places to go a further number of parks and monuments. They have been “seen.” They have been “done.”

seen at city market, the local kroger variant
mass production
industrial tourism

First draft, as in the initial call to action. Imposed upon, perhaps with passion, perhaps with resignation, but ultimately by the will of another.

In the fading of 2019 i watched the film Peanut Butter Falcon. (It was delightful, 4/4 stars, worth your time.) It rekindled within me a smoldering fire that had been present for years, that desire for a Huck Finn-esque river romp, a meander through some ancient waterway of my lands. So i started research on that classic American waterway, the Mississippi. Quickly i learned of grand paddling exploits to be had upon his rustic brother, the Missouri River, and my focus changed, set on a summer 2020 Montana start as opposed to a Minnesota one. (my oh my, so many M’s had my mind mixed and mouth muddled for many months)

Being a weathered long distance traveller my plans were slapdash and confident. I read some words on how there would be some lakes that i’d come across with the portages to follow, some vast distances without easy resupply options, and how it would turn into a shipping lane at some point. I spent way too much on a guidebook, (David Miller be praised…what was that about pawing at the heels of giants?) thumbed through it, and found it as full of anecdote as it was with guidance so ended up consulting it very little. I threw my backpacking gear into a new used kayak with a bunch of plastic hiker food, water fears, and ten gallons of water, setting off into that river a couple days after my 30th birthday.

above lake sakakawea, two days before i rolled my kayak and floundered in the waves

Here in my corner i am the alpha and omega storyteller, yes please sit down criss cross applesauce (yes you can also sit on your feet as i often did) and turn your attention to these spells i cast, painting vision into your mind. I have and will continue to do my best to tell good stories, happy stories, for why share negativity and sorrows when oh so many others are doing a fine enough job at that?

It took me years to finally get pencil to paper to tell my tale of that summer because i struggled terribly with what i saw, with what had been done to that waterway. The Missouri isn’t much of a free flowing river in current year. Most of it is dominated either by great lakes kept alive by even greater dams or by full barge shipping lane chanellization. I settled upon framing my story from the perspective of my kayak to keep focus on the journey, cordoning my Missouri miseries off to a short two sentences with with as much precision as i could muster about the difficulties of an imprisoned river:

The Great Dragon of the West of the West lies low, crippled, and fettered. The induced lakes: the flooding marshlands all muddy and morose, the shorelines of fully subsumed mountainsides all silty and sad, the forgotten histories and legacies all sunken and lost, the sleek expanses weak to the common winds of the region, the no man’s land of engineering holding back an impossible force of water, the raging portholes on the far side with waters eager to be freed of this prison, all the way down to its channelized ditch: the mile markers and traffic signs delineating this jail for the mighty beast like a motorway, the cruel behemoth wardens endlessly patrolling and dredging the deeps to keep the shackles secure and the waters tame, the vacant gazes of the humans telling tales of the wrath of the flood of ’93 when the bonds broke wildly, the vindictive eyes of the humans telling tales of the flood of ’11 and the chaotic nature of its birth, the manmade placards of metal and stone with words memorializing the flooding depths from the times the Dragon lived free in its former stomping grounds and wreaked havoc as it saw fit, the rivermade placards doing the same in the form of homes and goods and lives strewn about the embankment, and that’s more than enough, thank you.

above lake francis case, waiting for wind and the wave to subside

It should be of little surprise that i found a kindred spirit in Edward Abbey. He was there so many years ago when the strength of men failed. He looked upon the glory of Glen Canyon before it was consumed by stagnant dammed water that we both scowl at. He experienced the wonders of the west before homogenization came rolling in on asphalt interstate. He could stroll in the glory of Park Avenue, solitaire, under bright blue skies. In the twilight years of wild America as development truly accelerated he was a canary crying out for all the grandeur that was to be lost. And now, thanks to Zach Gottsage, Shia LaBeouf, and the kind woman who gave me a summertime job in Moab, i am tethered to a stranger whose shadow i live in.

holy shit is that delicate arch

i had some words in here about how brevity can be accepted easier in digital form because i don’t have to claw at length to pass the hurdle from pamphlet to book. they were pruned because hooee i wouldn’t exactly call this brief

ms woody, a powerful figure in my formative years of composition never enforced a word limit on our assigned essays, saying instead “they should be like a good skirt: long enough to cover everything, but short enough to be interesting.”

summer in boscobel

Wisconsin’s Outdoor Recreation Capital

blue roof, o blue roof

“Boscobel? The drugs were bad there, that’s why we got out.” -a new friend along the Mississippi River after i told him where i spent my summer.

“So why the hell did you choose Boscobel of all places?” -a passenger in one of the cars while i was hitchhiking to get there. He told me of the perceived social politics between the local towns: the natives of the town to the south of Boscobel see it as the river rat town down by the Wisconsin River.

scorecard for boscobel high school, courtesy of us news and world report.

A town of around 3k as the green sign reads. The two parallel main roads, Elm and Wisconsin, nestled between a pair of creeks: Crooked to the west and Sanders to the east. Wisconsin’s Outdoor Recreation Capital as the billboard reads. A metal Blue Roof upon the house i orbited for the season.

Small town America, such a common stomping ground of mine… The park with pavilion and picnic, b-ball and baseball. Armed forces memorial [sans space force]. Modest town hall. Modest library with modest hours if you’re lucky. Aplenty with natives, born and raised of generations. Main streets cancerous with space for lease. The edge of town with the homogenized american boxes: one of the common breed dollar stores, a fast food, a gas station with a name you’ve seen before. Of these traits Boscobel was no exception, except for the space for lease. The town was alive with storefront…except for the hardware store. After years of service they went full liquidation, to close soon. I joined most of the town in that store the morning the big sell off sale started and overheard the owner, “i wanna ride my motorcycle, you know?” The True Value on the homogenized side of town will continue serving the town.

Small town America. I have passed through, i have loitered for a few days, but i hadn’t spent months in one before summer 2024. From May until September i sat under the Blue Roof, working when conditions would have me. Turns out most of the words i have about those months are in regard to the footpaths of this town.


November 20th, 1992, 10:45 PM, two gunshots ring out near Memorial Park. Two days later, as the Schultzs return from church, they find two new holes in their house on their front porch. Thirty two years later, i find this front porch.

Our neigbor Kim had tended many buildings in Boscobel, the Blue Roof included back in the day. He says it’s one of the oldest homes in town, and i sure felt that in the musty basement and the cozy second floor. Nowadays he plays a wacky wild Euchre variant with five of his lads at his bar. I love the breeds of Euchre around the midwest, they have such big “you’re not from ’round these parts” energy. It’s true, i’m not, we use two fives to keep score in civilization, not like those four and six barbarians-i digress. He replaced the bullet punched siding in ’92. Turns out i spent the whole summer sitting beneath their entrypoints.

O the porch, blue porch. Ever sit on a porch and say “mmhm”? Ever sit on a porch and wave at everyone and everything? Ever look? at that? Boy howdy i sure have and let me tell you….mmmmhm. I swear, this used to be an unwelcoming part of town. Now we can’t make it past this corner without getting greeted by my fellow man. There comes the neighborhood. Look, it’s Hoppy the squirrel! I was getting worried, i hadn’t seen him for a week. He’s missing a front paw and a tail, but he’s doing alright. Tail-napped by little Blitz, Kim’s tree climbing spitfire of a dog, but he’s still living large.


“The destination for outdoor recreation.”  Let us turn our eyes to the trails around town. Our first stop: the Boscobel Bluffs to the east of the suburban sprawl. A sandy trailhead before a 1.5 mile out-and-back trail up through the woods, completely overgrown by waist high weeds on my first walk. I was delighted to see that it was pruned to a useable level on a follow up visit. Cute, cozy, and functional, albeit a bit short. Unpopulated by others in my experiences. i didn’t take any pictures either lol not sorry

Our next stop i frequented very often [and have a lot more to say about], the B-side to compliment the blue porch A-side: The Sanders Creek Trail, the logically named two mile gem alongside Sanders Creek. Well, one mile, but it’s out and back. Well, i heard locals call it not a gem but something more like “smoker’s ditch.”

Well, let’s check with another source from another time: the Wisconsin Explorer, Kenneth Casper. Usually more of a hardcore trail enthusiast, in 2020 he finally found his way to the Recreation Destination of the whole state to see what they had. “I spotted the Sanders Creek Trail across Highway 61 behind Walnut Street and I could see it was flooded over. So, I walked up Green Street and down Nevada Street and found a dog park I could walk through to get onto the trail.” picture below looking in from 61 and Walnut, the northern end of the trail

take time to remember

I often relaxed underneath the bridge at the trail’s southern terminus sourcing my water, sad songs on my guitar flowing like the cold clear creek from my bridge covered hobo haunt. Heading north along the trail we find a field i would lounge in. The nearby church’s bells would sing at 9am on Sundays. Continuing we often find the sidewalk subsumed, first by sand [ghosts of a floody summer] and later by water as it passes by the downtown stretch, benches to one side and swimming holes for the local youth on the other. The stretch of trail between the dog park and the northern end -our flooded end witnessed by Kenneth- was fully reclaimed by the creek for my whole summer, some sections nearly a foot deep, sidewalk sagging, reclaimed by the marsh.

Sidewalk sagging? Floody conditions? Another source: swnews4u.com, with words from the locally relevant Boscobel Dial. This article from 2022 is concerned with our flooded terminus and gently points fingers at possible causes: blockage in the floodlands the creek flows towards, a clogged small culvert beneath the highway, or a sinking sidewalk in wetlands.

cloggy culvert sure enough

So recent, the year 2022, the issues of this walkway annual and habitualized. Let’s return farther, to the birth, to the purity of creation, goals lofty and problems absent. October 1998, initial work is underway for what was called the Sanders Creek Walkway. Here our words come from Alderman Jamie Goldsmith. The DNR had recently required canary grass to be planted alongside the creek, an effort Goldsmith took issue with, “It’s a barrier. It’s a barren, ugly, drainage ditch.” Grass by a creek does belong, there i disagree, but of the drainage ditch we are in agreement. He continues, “I think once we get that pathway in there, it will be easier to get in there for maintenance.” Get in there for maintenance, goals lofty indeed.

October 2003, the walkway grows, our hotbed wetbed arrives.

ooh…pruned, level, maintained

May 2004 and the springtime graces our walkway with wetness.

June 2007 and our memorial to forgotten friends arrives.

We only get a hint of what lies behind the monument in that photo unfortunately. Here it is in September 2024. Notice my fingerswipes upon the monument, brushing away the detritus of a floody summer.


Across from the wet Sanders Creek Trail we join the first phase of the Great Wisconsin River Trail: about a half mile of sidewalk. This modest sproutling from the Sanders seed has lofty goals of becoming a long beautiful looping concrete vine along the floody wetlands of the river. Boasting sponsorships from the local hospital, energy company, two different packaging companies, grant money over $1.5mil, and who knows how many donations i certainly hope a brighter future is to come from this project because it’s awfully cloudy from what i’ve seen. 

Expansion joints, (or control joints) are the intentional lines cut into a concrete pour to prevent wild cracking and buckling as it grows and shrinks with temperature changes. I believe i spotted two of these on my last brisk walk down this path [an embarrasing failure, i was preoccupied mentally with planning my day of organizing gear for a river float.] I lost count of the number of wild cracks along what used to be a handsome, smooth stretch of paved trail. Functional still i guess, but kind of a difficult start to what will ideally be a cool thing. A bridge connecting Woodman and Wauzeka would be rad even if it’s not for motor traffic, but it’s also two sub-phases away from completion. I hear that the next sub-phase of construction won’t take place for maybe three years, and that the heads of this project want to pass it off to the state parks and let them do the deed. the best layed plans…


So anyway Trapper for mayor. Pray for the kids in Boscobel. Pray for the families stuck under financial stress there. Pray for the users and abusers of substances lost there. Tremendous shoutouts to Timber Line Coffee and their bombastic Sumatra coffee beans. More bashful shoutouts to my bougey coffee ass for being the reason why they now have a button for cortados in their cash register. Try their chocolate cake it’s actually the best.


conclusion? what conclusion? i’m sick with empathy everywhere i go and boscobel is a part of me now because of it. my list of american locations i have to visit on my cross-country migrations grows.

small town america not to be confused with very small town america: a post office and a gas station if you’re lucky. towns like those i rarely have lingered in, usually just a pit stop.

i also learned that expansion lines are lethal to the spines of fathers, as opposed to the cracks for the backs of mothers

i say o, i say h-i-o

a cloudy bicycle through ohio

Autumn 2018, fresh off of the Pacific Crest Trail and a freeform cross-country hitchhike, i hopped on my craigslist touring bike and set out to bicycle from my hometown near Ann Arbor, MI down and across to DC. A jaunt across Ohio separated my start from Pittsburgh, and from there the Great Allegheny Passage Trail mapped my course to DC. The Ohio leg was wildly freeform though, no routes or destinations planned ahead.

A glimpse at my planning for this journey: a probing of ‘there is a town over here,’ ‘i could take this road for a while in this direction’ or ‘this place looks like i could find a spot as wide as me to sleep,’ as i started to the south and continued to the east. My laissez-faire hitchhike trip i had just completed had me feeling real loosey goosey for this one. The only proper record of my path remains on some forsaken server in google’s mind, i did a poor job of documenting this one. Some stretches of road and towns perk up to me when i look at a map of the middle of nowhere Ohio. I enjoy how much space in the states i have that relationship with.

Pictured above was my cozy villa for a night at a closed campground, lake adjacent. Generally my beds were not so developed and idyllic, usually they were in thickets of trees along country roads, or underneath bridges on the common nights of rain i met.

One night early on i set up beneath a highway underpass at the edge of Small American Town, Ohio. Conditions were calling to be difficult, wind and rain, so i curled up in my quilt and started watching nerd stuff on my phone as i waited for sleep. My bliss was disturbed by officers trying to serve and protect. Some concerned local spotted my kit beneath the bridge there and alerted the authorites. I informed them that i wasn’t green, that i was healthy, and i would be leaving at the break of dawn, but apparently that was insufficient for their check-in. Calls were placed up the chain of command asking what the next move would be until we reached the peak of this locality: the officer who drives the SUV. We loaded up my kit into his trunk and i was driven to a motel [in the wrong direction] with a room waiting for me on the dime of the Salvation Army. I made music in the back on the ride over; officer SUV gave me a fiver and said i was good. I spent it on garbage bags from a gas station to aid in waterproofing my kit.

I called out to a local on their front lawn for knowledge about the wildlife area nearby and its viability for camping. Instead i was invited to the backyard for a night around the fire and fed handsomely in the morning. Even upon my own trail does the trail provide.

A cold night, a wet night, a lonesome night, a restless night, a difficult night. The following day arrived with glorious sunlight as i crawled to the small small town of Mifflin to sit on the picnic tables next to the church under construction and this beautiful tree. Gas station coffee and pastries to rally morale, only to get approached by a local with presents in hand: a fresh pair of socks and a bag of snacks. we gonna be okay

One of the final nights brought me to a small town bar. I had my bed location for the night picked out a ways down the road, but it was too visible to set up before the sun set down. Perfect time to eat and drink some food and ambience.

I sit at the bar and present my ID to the bartender. ‘Michigan?!’ Record scratch – the customers turn to look and i survey my surroundings. Crimson and white everywhere, nary an eye without an accompanying buck in sight. The club loyalties of these NCAA football rivalries run deep, the buff lads of Ohio State and the University of Michigan foster a healthy one. I let them know i went to Central Michigan University and i cared little about this region’s conflict and the ambience returned. We spoke of my journey and the owners offered their deck to me to sleep for the night. A wise move on their part because i nearly closed out the bar that night before laying down to sleep, the company was comfy. deck popped a hole in my sleeping pad tho

Many days pedaling down numbered gridded roads through farmlands. Shorter days as the terrain got more textured with hills closing in on eastern Ohio. Plenty of rain too, i waited out a three day rainstorm around Halloween in Bucyrus. My sleeping spots migrated as the rains flooded my dry options, from highway underpass to picnic pavilion to hotel with spirit sodden. It was still cloudy as i left town.

Walking my bike along the bridge to drink in the Ohio River as i crossed to West Virginia. An intersection of dirt roads, uneven angles, on a hilltop crowned with trees. A rock wall outside of a gas station with the morning’s cup of mud. A cold soak ramen while reclined against a stop sign, eaten with the desire to never eat cold soak ramen again as a local drives by and asks if i’m okay. Yes, but not with this sorry ramen jar, friend. The countless times that, when pedaling on the shoulder of a two-laned road, cars and trucks passed by each other right next to me. A morning at the small local grocery eavesdropping on the locals. The talks with lifelong Ohioans about the ways their towns have grown and decayed over time. Many libraries loitered in while the robots fed and i hydrated. The one Sunday morning i spent in a church to hide from a howling rainstorm, one of the fellas in attendance drove me to a truck stop up the road after service was complete. Singing songs i was good at on the first day to bolster my confidence for the days to come. Scouting out couchsurfing options only to always back away because i felt shy. Nightly, laying down and scrolling on the map for a diner or gas station for the morning. The solo ad hoc nature of this one brought about many sentences, segmented moments, fewer paragraphs of full story.


probably waited a little too long to jot this one down lol, it’s squishy in the mind. especially since it stopped at Pittsburgh, it didn’t complete in DC as i had initially planned. the bite of late November sent my willpower away and i quickly followed. this was a thing i did for about two months and i am changed from it.

lbow room

boy pokemon go was cool huh

the ghost of a zeitgeist from a year sick with meme magic

Pokémon GO released 3 years and 3 months ago and Pokémon GO lost basically all its mainstream momentum 3 years ago. There have been a few attempts to take the Augmented Reality game throne in the years since, but none have succeeded [sorry, Garfield go, you never got your chance.] This many years down the line it finally has a real competitor stepping up to the plate. Before we get into all that, i wanted to selfishly tell a few stories about what GO can do with its potential.

At the release of GO i was having my first go at car life in western america. I can confirm that those first few months were something special. Shortly after release i spent a couple hours figuring out the base game mechanics near Fountain, CO with a theater kid while she played the Hamilton soundtrack off her phone and walked her dog. I register this as my first encounter of oh so many with that Lin-Manuel joint.

Shortly afterwards i spent a day in Woodland Park trying to conquer all the gyms because Team Valor doesn’t rest until conquest is ours. Shoutout to the gang of three kids on scooters aiding in the glorious red fight. As i passed by the Taco Bell in town an employee on his lunch break joined my party and showed me the hot spot in town where he got his ghastly. Unfortunately the ghastly i caught had bad stats so i don’t have it anymore.

it took me so many resources to get this rhydon when i was in ID and he’s still one of my best lads

When i was up near Seattle i found my way to one of the parks at around lunchtime and it was absolutely flooded with people trying to be the best like no one ever was. The park had a circular path with a grassy field in the center. Around the ring people paced stocking up on all the items they could get before joining the mob in the center that ebbed and flowed towards the hottest spawns. One of the last ones i followed them to was a beefy tentacruel who carried me in many battles in early game. Unfortunately he got outmoded and sent to the candy machine. On that day i partied up with a guy who was wearing a cookie cat t shirt and i kept him out of work for an hour or so longer than he should’ve.

be careful, there’s wild humans in the tall grass

It was thrilling, having all these interactions from a silly Pokemon game but hey there are so many pieces about the cool things it did right around launch. There are also a lot of pieces about how lackluster its features were. So let’s jump forward to 2018 when they had finally patched in basic things, like legendary Pokemon. Also after they’ve added interesting events called Community Days. Also also they added in all kinds of Pokémon jargon.

One of my good friends+her family in MI is more active in with GO than i am. We both got a fancy ex raid pass that let us do this Mewtwo raid event [just look at all that jargon remember when this game was approachable]. It was February in MI so you know it was snowy and slushy and very very cold. Still, as both the raid time and myself approached the raid location i found about 25 people all staring down at their rectangles into the Pokemon world. Turns out there’s an online chat group for the local area where passionate GO players organize and coordinate these things. I got cordoned off into my group of Team Valors because the team that helps the most in the battle gets more chances to catch the dang thing at the end.

The battle started and 3 different sets of 6 of my best battle lads got plastered within seconds, as this giant psychic demon casually waved his hands and i poked my screen idly. All the fantastic godly birds and dragons everyone else brought to the fight held their ground and looked pitifully as i trotted out some golbat i caught last year because i literally didn’t have anyone else competent in my squad. The battle was a victory no thanks to me and i successfully caught me #150: the terrifying cloned abomination Mewtwo and named him twerklord.

here we see the legendary twerklord battling a team rocket grunt in delicious pokemon lore irony

Later that year when the weather became pleasant we returned to that area for a Community Day. These days usually last a Saturday afternoon, and the game goes haywire spawning just one kind of pokemon so you can easily reach the ludicrous price of evolving some of these guys to their final evolution. They also usually debut the shiny variant of this one pokemon, a hot color palette change. Shinies are so rare in the mainline pokemon games that over my almost 20 years playing them i still haven’t seen one.

We roll up to the park and boy howdy it looked like summer 2016 all over again. The sidewalks were positively packed with these thirsty trainers chatting about all the nitty gritty minmaxing they’ve been doing. By this point GO had added in a friends system and gives rewards if you make enough friends. So shoutout to this 10 year old kid named astroteemo who still gives me gifts from the Plymouth Canton area sometimes. At the end of the event they even debuted a new Pokémon from the next mainline game, and it was real cool seeing and hearing people coming to this realization.

only some of the fruits of my labor, each sparkle means they’re *extra* rare

Last week i spent almost a full day exclusively playing GO. In a small town in CO, Georgetown, i moved in and started asserting myself. Five gyms over a few blocks, with the most action packed one at the visitors center right next to the highway. That one required of me the most babysitting, but i still had a lot of downtime when i reigned supreme.

They added in a cute little team rocket random encounter (that should’ve been present near launch) that crashed my game. I tried to do a raid and it crashed my game. I actually got into a raid and it froze up when I won the battle, so i got to helplessly watch the timer tick down and it told me i lost. I was constantly hurting for resources so i had to pass on a lot of wild Pokémon encounters. I was usually cool with that, since a lot of encounters it gave me were for dudes i already caught and fully evolved. A lot of other encounters i got were for dudes from the 4th generation of mainline games, which segues nicely.

There’s too many dang Pokémon. This is a problem that the mainline series is currently dealing with, and now GO is facing. I’ve been casually playing for almost the whole 3 years and i still don’t have all the original 150. With the addition of timed raids, the prospect of getting legendaries seems impossible since i don’t have a crew or the patience to check every hour or two to see if i’ll even get the chance to try to catch one of them. There was just a timed event that let you hatch eggs to get Europe and Australia exclusive guys. None of my eggs got me any of them and that didn’t feel great.

Boy this took a sour turn, huh?

also welcome back, me, to this website

lol not really, future me here, i’ll be gone for another few years oops

megabuses are great cuz they’re cheap and not as sad as greyhounds

pt 4 of the cross-country wedding dash

when last we left off i was setting off to hitch from the last truck stop in wyoming…

oop i forgot to put this picture in the last one when i talked about bojack horseman

The sun continued to climb and i stood by the on ramp with my thumb out. I started off playing guitar and moved on to singing along with Billy Joel songs. The on ramp was next door to a group of cows who were a nice audience to my performance. E came by and stood up on the interstate but i stayed down at the beginning of the on ramp where it was quieter.

At around 11 a pickup stopped and i hopped in. The driver was a nice guy heading back home in Tennessee who goes by the name Ewok. That put me absolutely at ease since i could introduce myself with my trail name.

He’s a wilderness firefighter, so he spent the past few months in California battling the natural progression of forests. He even worked on the Redding fire that plagued my views and lungs for weeks.

ewok saw the lady with this bus the past couple days, they’re heading in the same direction. her headlight was being cheeky but he couldn’t do anything about it

I don’t remember how it came up but we started talking about moonshine after a while and boyo does Ewok know his stuff. Being a good boy from Tennessee he’s got that thick accent so you know he knew what he was talking about. Stuff like proper flavored moonshine etiquette, the silly laws involving the creation of moonshine, and how it was traditionally made. Turns out he also was featured in and narrated moonshine documentaries, Living Proof. He said his accent was a big part of him landing that narration gig and he’s not wrong.

We drove clear across Nebraska, he dropped me off in Lincoln as he turned south to Tennessee. I arrived just in time to hop on a bus to get to the east side of town. The sun was too low for me to try to hitch so i sat in a Wendy’s and had a lot of 50 cent frostys and waited for darkness to fall. I slept that night in a field underneath a large King Kong statue that loomed over a diner. I forgot to take a picture the next morning because my allergies decided to show up again and i stumbled into a gas station for some medicine.

there’s a spot in nebraska without crops!

An unfortunate part of hitchhiking is not knowing local geography. When i got picked up from Lincoln in a pickup the guy told me where his destination was, but since it was somewhere east i was okay with it. It was a short 5 minutes down the interstate. I was kind of okay with that because i wasn’t sure how long i could sustain conversation with him.

I was a very sleepy boy after he dropped me off so i took a nap under the interstate for a couple hours before returning to the on ramp to hitch. After about half an hour a sheriff pulled up and told me that i couldn’t stand there. He said that someone called in to them concerned about my well being but i saw a lot of law cars drive by so i don’t exactly believe that. He was very pleasant, so i asked him where i could stand. He pointed me to about 10 yards away on the road leading up to the on ramp. I made a sassy joke about how silly of a rule that is that made me move such a short distance and he laughed at that, said that i looked like i was doing just fine, and went on his way.

Rush hour traffic started coming by which dampened my spirits as nobody stopped. Eventually at almost 7 an old guy listening to modern pop and dance music pulled up and drove me the short distance to Omaha. He dropped me downtown where i took a bus across the border to Council Bluffs in Iowa, so close to my destination. I found a place next to some corn, surprisingly, and crashed for the night.

the people over there were doing a thing i think to get people to give money to heinz? i was more interested in their art than their cause

It was Thursday morning, one day before my friends would be arriving in Iowa City. Instead of trying to hitch the rest of the way i threw in the towel and bought a megabus ticket. I was concerned about only getting a hitch part way and being stuck in a place with no bus service. I settled on that plan too late and had to get a ticket for Friday midday. That gave me a full day to burn in Council Bluffs.

I started off by heading to a Goodwill. Council Bluffs had a nice paved path that led from where i slept right to it and also a Mcdonald’s, so my plan was made. My first stop at Goodwill was to get some warmer clothes, some more comfortable jeans, and some nicer wedding appropriate clothes. My new jeans are very blue, like cartoon character blue and i love them.

sick blurry picture dude

From there i went to Mcdonald’s to drink my body weight in pop again. I hung out there and watched some SGDQ until i got antsy and wanted to sing. I returned to that path, sat under a bridge, and sang for a couple hours until my voice got hoarse and told me i had to stop. By then i returned to the spot i slept the night before to rest for my big day the next day.

she got mad at me when i put my hand on her shoulder #hoverhand

Before getting on that bus i bought a copy of OG Tetris for the OG game boy because i had been thinking about it for a while, and that kept me occupied for the bus ride to Iowa City. The bus got into the city at close to 5 and i got to the air bnb around 6. I dug in on the stoop and waited for my friends to show up that night, but that wouldn’t happen until almost 11pm.

All my efforts paid off in spades when i saw them hesitate as they drove up, confused about the dirty vagrant in front of their air bnb until they recognized it was me and we hugged and it was great.

The next day was the wedding and good times with a group of humans who i’ve known for a very long time. Also i got to meet the bride for the first time turns out she’s cool which isn’t really a surprise. The best man was my friend’s younger brother who recently went to Isle Royale which planted that idea in my mind. Unfortunately the boats have mostly stopped running, and will be all done running by next week so i can’t do that this year.

overcooked 2 is a good game albeit a little buggy but these humans rock

On Sunday we road tripped to Chicago, doing some good sing alongs which is another thing i miss about driving when i go a while without doing it. The highway with windows down and the good music on makes my soul feel good. Getting a cold doesn’t make my soul feel good which is what happened next.

My married friends in Chicago are huge into board games and boy am i not into learning new board games. So while they played Scythe i fought my nose cold and read about the cool world building they did for that board game. The next day i hopped a megabus back to Ann Arbor and now i’m back to being a barista, at least for a short time.

and here we are. i could write about the past few days, walking through what happened but a lot of it is either ‘i’m at work’ or ‘i played some cool video games.’ like i said last post i’m definitely writing bout them next, i’ve wanted to say things about them for a while, since some dramatic moments i had with pokemon gold on trail.

also i played my first and last game of pubg mobile and won it go me

oof this piddled out at the end huh


shortly after he would bicycle to pittsburgh, return to michigan for the holidays and cold, then set off full time in the cruiser once more, all the while posting more on instagram than on here.

for the best tho, i’m less fond of the day to day blog style these days. broad, sweeping, iterative. no thank you, let me distill, refine, purify first.

i’ma keep this one piddled lol. read another story on here it’ll end better or better yet: you tell me one that ends better than this one